


my ghost, where’d you go?

by gothamsharley



Series: Roisa Fic Week 2019 [1]
Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Ghost Rose Solano, Roisa Fic Week, Roisa Fic Week 2019, This killed me to write, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 23:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20125924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamsharley/pseuds/gothamsharley
Summary: After Rose dies, Luisa struggles to cope with the loss and spends a lot of time wondering if she made the right decision to kill her. After she starts seeing Rose’s ghost, Luisa fears that she is going out of her mind and hallucinating her until she is proven wrong.Roisa Fic Week Day 1 - Alternate JTV





	my ghost, where’d you go?

The first time Luisa sensed her was the day after she lost her. She'd spent hours contemplating whether or not she made the right choice. She'd saved her family. They loved her now...didn't they? But her one true love was eternally missing. She suddenly couldn't bear it. She was never going to feel those freckled arms wrapped around her or gaze into those dazzling blue eyes again. And she was, quite literally, the one who'd pushed them away. 

It had understandably been one of the most wearying days of her life. Her eyes were red and swollen, her mind burdened with a thousand thoughts when she felt a shift in the atmosphere surrounding her. Scouring the room, nothing appeared to be out of place but there was a definite change of something in the air. 

Then, as if something had taken her over, her body became overwhelmed with sensations of her. How her thumb had grazed over her hand, the first time their lips had locked, their long and passionate nights of pleasure. She couldn't see her but she could feel her. She could feel Rose.

"Is that you? It is you...isn't it? Please say something. Can you even speak?" Luisa's eyes darted around trying to catch a glimpse of her but there was nothing. She shook her head. Rose had obviously taken her remaining mental sanity with her when she died. Yet if ghosts weren't real, why was her comforting lavender scent lingering in the room?

She had done her best to forget about it until the wedding. It made her feel better. A day of laughter and joy and Jane and Rafael getting their happily ever after. Together. It also made her wonder if she deserved one of those. If she'd spend the rest of her life with someone. For as long as she could remember now, there was only one woman who she'd envisioned having a future with. 

Desperately ignoring the empty feeling inside of her, Luisa searched the multitude of smiling, chatty people for someone to talk to. She mostly saw strangers around her when among the crowds, for a fleeting few seconds, Luisa's eyes fell on a familiar face.

It couldn't be her. It had to be absolutely impossible, in fact. A figure that had subtly gone unnoticed by the other attendees. But there was no mistaking those hypnotic eyes, despite how washed out they were now, or those luscious red locks that still hung so perfectly past her shoulders. Rose flashed a wink at her former lover before vanishing as quickly as she'd appeared.

Luisa was fearful now. Rose was either haunting her or, the more likely option, she had become so deluded from losing her that she was actually hallucinating. Her intense longing for Rose to come back had begun to manifest in ways that were out of her control. Killing her was supposed to strengthen her mental stability, not worsen it.

The next piece of terrifying evidence, and the final straw as far as Luisa was concerned, was when she received copies of the photos from the wedding. She giggled as she saw Petra's facial expressions and then moved her focus to the group picture. She froze.

A silvery silhouette of Rose was standing behind her. There was no way that all of the others had failed to notice the woman that had terrorised them for years in their wedding photographs. Meaning no one else could see her. Only Luisa. She mulled over the three experiences in her head before breaking down. "Damn you Rose! You're dead and yet you're still ruining my life! Even when you're a figment of my imagination!" She swiped the photos off of the table and onto the floor with annoyance.

"You're not imagining anything baby."

Luisa would know that voice anyway. The pet name made her shiver as it sent tingles down her spine. Raising her head, she took a proper look at the lady standing before her, now that she had more than a split second to do so. She was faded and shimmering in a way but she still looked exactly like Rose, with all of her beauty and elegance. 

"Rose. It really is you....no! You're not real! You're dead!" Luisa held her head in distress as she screwed up her eyes in an attempt to not cry again.

"Lu it really is me, I promise. Yes I'm still dead but I suppose I'm a spirit of sorts now." She stared at the chair next to Luisa but knew she wasn't exactly able to sit down anymore.

"You're imaginary." Luisa continued to anxiously ramble. "It's all in my head. I'm going to have to check myself back in somewhere. I think it's worse this time. I've really gone..." She couldn't bring herself to say the word. Rose knew she had to calm her down somehow. Moving closer, she was able to materialise long enough to place a hand on the brunette's shoulder. 

"Please just take a few deep breaths." Luisa gazed up at her with wide eyes.

"This is different to all the other times. I can physically feel you. Oh Rose I've missed your touch so much," she sniffled, welling up. Rose's hand ghosted away again.

"I only have the strength to do that for a little while. I wanted to you see me sooner but I didn't want to disrupt your life again before the wedding. But I just couldn't stay away, I had to visit you that night even if I wasn't visible. Then again at the wedding, you just looked so lonely and lost. I had to show myself," she explained. 

"I didn't think it was possible. I thought you'd move on and have an afterlife somewhere else." Luisa tried to wrap her head around it. 

"How could I pass on when you were still so unsettled?" She should have known Rose would never stop caring for her. 

"You're so...pale now."

"Well I never was the best at tanning," Rose joked with a laugh. She'd kept her sense of humour but Luisa couldn't even force a weak smile.

"Did it hurt?" she asked suddenly. 

"Let's not talk about that." Rose was looking into those wide, watery brown eyes and she knew she couldn't cause her any more trauma today. "I haven't let any of your loved ones see me. I'm not going 

"Rose I don't regret wanting to keep my family safe. I need you to know that." She continued speaking before Rose could interrupt her. "But I do regret losing the love of my life. I lost a part of me when I lost you and I wish things had worked out differently. I'm sorry." The tears were flowing again now.

"I've already forgiven you," Rose assured her. "In my final moments, all I could think about was how happy you could be now. I wanted nothing more than to love and cherish you forever but I made so many mistakes along the way. But I promise that I loved you until the end of my time." Luisa's cries were harder now and had turned to sobs. 

"Oh Rose. Please let me feel you again, if you can do it." Rose used every bit of her power to cup Luisa's face in her hands and wipe her glittering tears away with her thumbs.

"I can't always be here for you now, my angel. You might feel my presence and maybe you'll even see me again like this one day. But you have to do this on your own now." Luisa let out a soft whimper and nestled into Rose's hands. "You can do this. I don't care what anyone says, I know that you're strong enough. You'll heal and you'll be successful and find happiness. Never give up Lu. I love you." She left a kiss on her cheek, as gentle as a butterfly.

When Luisa woke up the next morning, she was momentarily afraid that the whole thing was merely a dream. Raising a hand to her face though, she could still feel Rose's soft lips imprinted on her cheek. The ghost of Rose was real and Luisa knew she was not fully gone.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever Roisa fic and AO3 fic so I hope I did ok! This was so so painful to write :( 
> 
> If you’d like to follow or check me out on other social media, i’m also gothamsharley on Twitter as well as bridgctregan and roisatiara on Instagram!


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